Lame...

This is going to be somewhat of a rant/vent/whatever-you-want-to-call-it.

Now, I don't mean to sound like a total bitch, but I am going to have to say it. I have been overweight pretty much all my life. I have always wanted to get in better shape, or just loose enough weight to go down in clothes sizes, and in the summer of 2008 I almost did it!

Unfortunately, as life would have it, something happened that deeply impacted my life, and it threw me into a depression that I have just started to get out of. During this time period, i gained quite a bit of weight. If i remember correctly, in the middle of Summer08 i weighed 250 pounds having lost 20 pounds during the first half of the Summer. But now, after weighing myself for the first time since, i weigh 300 pounds.

The worst part about it is that ever since i weighed myself, i started to feel it! I feel like i am weighed down, like i can;t breath. I feel the flab in my body, and I see how large my girth has gotten, and it makes me feel HORRIBLE!

Now this brings me to why i am writing this blog. I want to lose weight. I want to get in better shape. I want to be the Tyler Durden that every man has in their head. But I can't. Or at least it seems that way.

I pretty much am writing this because i wish to turn over a new leaf. I want to start controlling my diet. If i can do that, I think the rest will happen on it's own. I just need to take that first step! But it seems harder to me than it should. I know i can do it! I KNOW I CAN, because i did it once before!

Ugh...

let's see what happens...